Word about January the 13th being the next so-called “Freshman Friday”
was spreading far and fast to all the Seniors, Juniors, and Sophomores of Andre Zachavabluntsausage High School. (Which was
named in honor of General Andre Zachavabluntsausage, who took down a whole battalion of Soviet Reds single handedly by disguising
himself as a Red soldier, and sneaking in to a camp with 300 crates of vodka, but that’s a whole ‘nother story)
Normally, “Freshman Friday” usually isn’t followed, but this year, a whole new idea had sprung up that had
taken hold of every upperclassman’s imaginations.
I remember the day quite well when Man Dc. Nellis brought it up. He just came
up to me during one lunch day some time ago, and said in his sharp New Yorker accent:
“Yo’ mofo’, what you say we just fuck every freshman in
their butt, dude for that Friday thing you cats always go for.” Shit! What a brilliant idea that was! I couldn’t
believe the utter genius of that Bronx bitch.
So I spread the word of this plan to every person I know, and they passed
it on to every person they knew. I had my doubts leading up to the 13th about if anyone would follow, hell, who
am I kidding, who would follow such a God-awful plan? However, I was proved wrong by about 16000% when I saw what happened
on that day in January.
Here goes, Jonny and I were walking down the corridor towards the English
wing, and the bell had just rung for 3rd period. Jonny and I could careless about getting to class so we were walking
and talking, when the most popular and pompous of all the freshman bumped into my left shoulder as we walked past. I turned
quickly and shouted at him, “Who the hell do you think you are you little dick sucker?”
He stared straight in to my eyes and said “I am fucking ****** *****,
and I don’t care who you are.” (I have omitted his name in consideration for his family since he died due to the
events of Freshman Friday)
Jonny spoke up immediately, “Oh! You think you can talk to seniors that
way you bunk bitch?
“Shit yeah I can, you’re probably too much of a pussy to
do anything about it, anyway.”
What I saw next was the quickest display of reflexes. Jonny ran up to him,
twirled that kid around, pulled his arms behind his back, rammed his knee into his spine, and held him in place. Then he exclaimed
the all-important battle cry to set off the events of today, but at the time I would never have believed it would.
“LETS FUCK ‘EM IN THE ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Suddenly, I heard shouts from every classroom, all echoing Jonny’s phrase.
“Let’s fuck ‘em in the ass” could be heard from every direction. Then of all places to hear it:
“Sodomization of freshmen is now authorized.” Rang out over the
school P.A!
I then heard some clanging, then a small scream. I turned around and looked
towards the science wing. Several kids (Most likely freshman, of course) were being sprawled out on the floor by some 20 odd
other cats and were having 3 ring binders and other school equipment about to be shoved right up their poop chutes!
I suddenly heard a crash from behind. I spun myself around and saw some nerdy
kid with glasses and a red-striped polo shirt being dragged out in to the hallway by at least 6 seniors that I know, followed
by what I assumed was the desk he was sitting in, and getting bent over, face down on that desk and pinned. Then a couple
more came out of a nearby classroom with a couple of yardsticks.
“Oh my God!” He screamed, “Not in there, oh sweet Jesus, not in there!” Those words echo in
my ears to this day, but the inevitable happened despite his plea. Down his pants went, and in with the yardsticks, four at
a time I may add.
However, the best was yet to come! While kids were being shoved against this
and that and having objects of all kinds inserted into one distinct orifice, me and Jonny had the prize bitch right at our
mercy, and damn, this kid was going to get it.
“Damn man, this is the shit,” Jonny began “But what are
we gonna’ do with this punk right here?” The punk began tugging harder to free his arms from Jonny. The fear in
his eyes was priceless, just like a prison bitch.
I scanned the area, looking for something to use to give it to this kid straight up, then I saw a trash can over in
a corner.
“Let’s take him to that bin over there man, he can’t get away if we shove his head in far enough.”
That sent this kid over the edge, he started kicking and really thrashing, trying to get away from Jonny, so I kicked him
as hard I could, square in the crotch. He pulled his legs literally up to his chest.
“That shut his shit up, now let’s get going.” I said. So
we proceeded to drag him over to the garbage pail, shoved his upper body in, with his posterior pointing right up in the air.
Jonny took out a small razor blade that he keeps with him and cut a split right down where this kid’s crack would be.
After doing so, Jonny turned around and yelled:
“If you guys wanna’ show this kid what’s what, bring yourself
right over here now!”
So after Jonny had his brutal way with this kid’s anus, and myself of course, a line of about 20 other students
formed and were now taking turns and their sweet time making this kids ass feel about 15 times wider than normal. After another
half hour, another 30 kids came, men with their cocks out, women with glass dildos and other long items, fat and small. Eventually
it seemed there was and endless line of kids getting ready to thrust their power in to this kids awaiting colon.
As if that wasn’t enough, an hour or so later, a sight to behold, sweet jesus, you have no clue. I was holding
the punk down since he started kicking again trying to get out (No idea how, I’d say after getting it in the ass for
an hour would tire you out) when I heard Jonny say something about the principal coming around the corner. I looked up and
saw him, Principal Montel, a crazy black man, about the height of six-foot, ten inches, and incredibly ripped biceps and abs.
One time I watched him put up a poster in the school about something and his biceps ripped the shit out of the jacket he was
wearing. He stepped up to the trash bin and inspected this kids swollen anus. He folded one arm across his chest and began
to scratch his goatee, contemplating something. Only until one second later, would we find out.
“What are you boys doing here? Is this
a raping? He ain’t even crying yet, the kid’s obviously enjoying it.” He began to undo his belt, “Let
me show you boys how it’s really done.” He finished confidently, with a grin on his face. Down he threw his pants,
and in he went, firmly and fast, quite a wonderful site to be honest.
Afterwards, while the principal was doing his thing, the kid started bleeding, and we didn’t call an ambulance
for another 6 hours, thus more kids inserted unlubricated items, it was way fun. That’s Freshman Friday, the only day
I can say that really mattered in my otherwise worthless life.
